Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Wishing Wednesday

Week 13:
The one that is full of lengthy explanations and mostly about TV...

I wish that Adult Swim would stop messing with the master volume. I use to be able to sleep with the volume on 15 - now I start the night with 13 and I swear, at 3:00 in the morning - I have to take it down to 9.

I wish that the Mystery Stride Gum commercial would stop playing. You know, the one where the men are riding ostriches and bust through the walls and then the ostrich turkey taps the dude with fierce aggression? First, it brings back the Kool-Aid man fears -with all that busting through walls. Second, an ostrich is the kind of animal that you is pretty mild-mannered. That is until you realize they could peck and stomp you to death without breaking a sweat. Third, tall animals just heighten my "short girl" complex and long necks make me wonder about those tribal rings that stretch know, like if I did that - could I really be 6 foot tall?

I wish that this commercial would stop playing - the song is addictive, or at least the melody is - but right now, when I'm TRYING to remember it - they lyrics escape me. But I swear this is the kind of thing that will not leave your subconscious - do not watch it...

I wish I knew why there was a plague of acne commercials last weekend - on EVERY channel, on EVERY break. Is it seasonal? Is it a pandemic?

I wish I understood why Family Guy and King of the Hill are appropriate prime time shows when they run on their original channels -yet the same shows required parental warnings when they run on Adult Swim.

How about you? What are you wishing for this week?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wishing Wednesdays NOT

Week 12:

The NOT SPOT - a few things that I am NOT wishing for this week...

I do NOT wish for any pork. No more catered meals with pork tainted menus. No more pork recipes.

I do NOT have any desire to bake any cake that involves rolling. I do not care how pretty it looks in the professional picture.

I do NOT wish for any more moments where all spelling skills exit my mind. (When it is so bad that spell check can not help you - you have a problem.)

I do NOT wish for shoes to be either supportive / comfortable OR to be cute. Call me picky - but I want both. Preferably, in a price range that I could not confuse with a car payment.

I do NOT wish for any more news stories of children that have disappeared - only to find out that the ones that are "missing" them are the reason they are gone.

What are you NOT wishing for this week?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Nail Mystery's Revealed

I have taken great comfort that I am not alone with the mystery of how to make the polish last - you know, longer than a day.

Many suggestions about the fake nails - not so many positive comments about them or the process or the cost - except that they look really nice.

I have had some revelations that I can share.

First, one trick seems to be to choose a questionable color. I painted my fingers iced blue - no base, one coat. It lasted for about 3 days with no chips. This did make me wonder if we have a tendency to paint in thick layers and that makes it more likely to chip - since one coat lasted so long? I mean 3 days is like a world record for me.

Do they reinforce ugly colors more? Not sure - but you have to wonder.

Next, in my preparation for St. Patty's day and with my new hope of ugly color longevity...I choose a glittery lime green. I did a base coat and two coats and a top coat. It lasted for most of the work week. I did have some chips and needed to reapply.

What I did realize about polish in a glittery color - the chips are not nearly as noticeable. They may be there, but the sparkle distracts your eye. After looking at my polish collection - I quickly realized this was not such wonderful news for me - as I tend not to be a glittery polish kind of gal. Maybe I will have to start...

With all this success - I thought I would try again with a dark, mildly sparkly color. Base, 2 coats, and a top coat. This weekend, I was on a baking mission for a fundraiser. This meant some hand washing of dishes. Which, of course, equals disaster. The paint lasted 2 days and was damaged so bad it could not be repair.

For now, I'm back to naked nails. Hope these tips help some...

And almost like magic (or like a cruel joke of temptation) I got a magazine today with an ad for a new polish from Sally Hansen (complete Salon Manicure). It is an all-in-one product that contains base coat, strengthener, growth treatment, color, and top coat. I plan to give it a try should I find a shad that steals my heart. Maybe if I'm only doing one step - reapplication won't be such a hassle? Because I notice that it doesn't make any claim to be long lasting.

I'm beginning to wonder about the idea of merging polish with sharpie markers? In more normal "nail" colors. And of course, this would require the invention of a pretty amazing base coat. Since we want semi-permanence. But if it can be accomplished with hair color...can nail polish really be that difficult?

Holding onto the dream...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Wishing Wednesdays

Week 11:

  • I wish St. Patty's Day was as much fun in the "adult world" as it was in college.
  • I wish someone would invent a washer / dryer unit that automatically shifts the laundry from one to the other - folding at the end would be super great too!
  • I wish we were NOT only 3 days into Daylight Savings time and that my son was NOT already using the "But Mom, it's still light outside" argument to avoid bedtime.
  • I wish my son would never get tired of the "Guess Who? I Love You" game. (Guess Where? I love you everywhere. Guess when? I love you now and then.)
  • I wish there were a "National - Just Like In the Magazines Make Up Day" where it would acceptable / encouraged to wear your make up just like the crazy styles of the this....

Happy St. Pats! What are you wishing for?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Wishing Wednesdays

Week 10 : So close to spring...I can taste it!

  • I wish that my palm plant(purchase at greatly reduced rate) would decide that life sounds better than death and begin to be green again.
  • I wish that the lovely person who refuses to return the much-needed gardening book to the library would find the book, pay the fee, or just simply bring it back.
  • I wish it wasn't my "secret Monday".
  • I wish to be healthy enough to get my allergy shot this week - before I have to start back over to build up my resistance.
  • I wish that Stephanie would feel the love and go ahead and publish Midnight Sun - seriously, Stephanie I PROMISE to purchase the final copy.
What are you wishing for?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Revoking My GIRL Card

I'm not sure what is wrong with me - but some of the easiest girl things are just beyond me.

For example - I love the look of painted nails. LOVE. Them.

So painting your nails is like - what - a 3 hour process? You have the base, the polish, the 2nd coat polish, the top coat. And allow for time for the impossible painting of the right hand. And allow time for drying - because there is nothing that thrills me more than doing all that work to see that I went to bed too soon and have wrinkled / smudged polish before I've even left the house.

But with all of those steps. With all of that time. It would totally be worth it - if it would just LAST. Like for more than 1 day would be nice. One week would be an absolute dream!

Let me clarify. I have used a variety of products - speed dry, super strength, variety of costs for polish, smoothing base coats, vitamin doesn't seem to matter. Additionally, the closest my hands come to "hard labor" or machinery on a daily basis is my pants zipper. Seriously.

Yet time and time again- I have a lovely paint job, waste hours of my life, and can't make it through one stinking day without a chip. It truly amazes / bewilders me when I see ladies with good polish jobs. Much less to see them multiple days in a row - with it lasting. My grandmother almost always had painted nails - and she gardened, she constantly was doing dishes by hand, she was always working on something - and she kept her nails painted.

Is there a secret to this? Are all of these paint jobs on fake nails? (which I have so far avoided for a few reasons - cost, fear of fungus / infection, and lack of time to commit on a weekly basis) Is it better to just skip the multi-steps and go straight for polish? At least then if it chips in a day I've only wasted 30ish minutes.

What is a girl to do?

Seriously in danger of never having adorable nails again...

Thursday, March 4, 2010

I've Been Dumped by the Universe

Some things have kind of slid by the way, during my month long wouldn't-it-be-fun-to-be-a-human-petri-dish....I will admit.

Laundry has been done on an emergency only basis.

Cooking is a sport I do not participate in.

Eating is mostly optional - unless medications dictates otherwise.

So, it's no surprise that my email has gotten a bit out of control. I've been pretty regular about dumping / sorting the SPAM file - but the "real" mail? Well, if I thought it contained any important detail at all - it was best left for a day when I had BRAIN function.

And so - at first, I didn't notice the silent treatment. Until....

Janet mentioned her message from The Universe - you can sign up for a daily (weekday) message that helps you focus on your greater mission in life - just in case you are like me, and from time to time you find yourself drowning in the daily details...who has time to think long term? I can't even plan dinner menus for a week- clearly I need these messages.

But the Universe has stopped sending me a daily message. Why? Have I ceased to exist? How long since they last acknowledged me? Have I offended? Is this some kind of secret message / hidden meaning? Should I be insulted? Should I sulk? Do you send flowers for this sort of thing? Does Hallmark make a card for this occasion? One must do you win back the love of the Universe?

Until then...lacking daily focus and guidance from the stars...wish me luck!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wishing Wednesdays

    Week 9: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...

  • I wish the headache that has been dully throbbing to wildly raging would exit my head permanently.

  • I wish that until that headache is evicted that the medicines will work enough to access the "mute" button.

  • I wish that all the weight I have dropped from these weeks of feeling quite horrible will NOT find it's way back to my scale.

  • I wish that the universe would cool it with rumbling and shifting - enough with the earthquakes.

  • I wish that all children came to school with the desire to get along and support each others' good / happy feelings instead of being programmed to master "annoying" and testing the limits of "legal" bullying.

(and finally - apparently, I also need to wish that my "add image' button would realize that when I click it - I really MEAN I would like to DO SOMETHING!... the stars will return next week)