Saturday, February 6, 2010

Thank You For the Germs

Tis the time of year for illness to spread. I understand that this is going to happen to the best of us as we are often contagious before we even know that we are carriers.

But in particular, I'd like to thank those that make it possible, that ignore the symptoms and push forward to maintain their daily routine - all the while spreading a little piece of themselves onto you and I - it warms my heart.

To the "perfect attendance" child. Thank you so much for prioritizing your record over the safety of others. I admire the fact that while most people recognize that the flu is contagious for 4-7 days, you manage to return to school in only 1 day all the while letting your classmates know that you have the flu. Thanks so much. I hope we can return the favor- we'll be sneezing on your valentine. Sent with love. XOXOXO-Ah-choo!

To the mother that sends her child to daycare - even though she's pretty sure the child has RSV. Thank you for systematically causing a decline in the infant classroom attendance as all of the children fall victim to your personal germ warfare.

To the line of people waiting for the pharmacy at Wal-Mart. Thank you for choosing to personally come into the store to get your scripts for your contagious conditions. We know you don't feel well, we wish the lines were faster, and that you might consider sending someone else to do your dirty work.

To the designers of Wal-Mart (and all other super store chains with pharmacy inside) - I challenge you to walk by the pharmacy area one time a week for an entire year - after you have contracted every disease known to man - would you please consider a different design on future stores? Perhaps one that contains the sick people to one corner of the store? Or maybe the idea of having an entrance that comes straight to the pharmacy, instead of having to aimlessly wander through the entire store to get there? Or how about a drive through so they can just stay in their own little germ bubbles?

To the children of the "nurse". How did you make it through medical school and yet you fail to understand how to prevent the spread of illness? Just because the school day is done does not mean that your children are no longer contagious. Thanks for letting them run around and play football with all the neighborhood kiddos - shall we all send you all of our medical bills?

Just some things to consider while we wait for the germs to forfeit their attack on our household. We'll do our best to keep it to ourselves - though we may have accidentally spread the infection on to Grandma. It's like the horror movie that never ends without the potential for a sequel.


Janet said...

As I sit here at work with my cold, I hear ya! Though maybe that makes me one of those out spreading my germs?

Karen said...

In my defense, the doctor told me I wasn't contagious and I really didn't have anyone else to send to the pharmacy. But I did stay in my car and use the Walgreens drive-thru.


I'm really tired of my coworker insisting on coming to work sick. She has over 600 hours of sick time banked. What's she waiting for??